Matt is kicked back in the recliner. His cheeks chapped pink
from the wind he states, “So are we gonna get this started or what?” Did I just
get snarked at by an Amish man? “We will wait a few more minutes on the other
couple, they just pulled in. I’m going to wait for them to put the horse in the
barn.” I smile my sweetest fake smile I can manage.
–Wow ok, not used to this level of directness within the
first hour of meeting. I’m guessing he’s
not too excited to be attending a childbirth class tonight. Well guess what
buddy, I’m not either. I traveled 20 miles in near white-out conditions on icy
roads at the “rush hour” on the Goshen-Plymouth trail to get here. I left my family a half hour early just to
arrive on time. This man Matt makes me
doubt it was worth the effort.
There are four couples signed up for this class. We awkwardly sit on over stuffed couches and
chairs and make small talk. It’s the first night of class in a series of four.
It seems we are off to a rough start.
Half way through though I feel I have recovered and things are going
well. The women are bright eyed, nodding
and following my every word.
I turn from the marker board I am writing on my glance
falling on Matt, who is soundly sleeping in his cozy recliner. Again wow- actually sleeping. I shouldn't be surprised; he did warn me this
may happen. Politely I noted the fresh
pot of coffee available. Laughing he shook his head and waved me off, “Ha if I
have coffee now I won’t be able to sleep once I get to bed.” Does napping
during class effect your bedtime sleep also? I am having a hard time
holding my tongue.
His wife Missy apologizes for her husband’s rudeness with
her eyes. My heart is softened a bit and
I remind myself this isn't personal. This guy just really doesn't want to be in a childbirth class.
Over the course of my teaching career I've had about 300 couples
in class. From time to time I come across
a gem like this one. I get it- childbirth class is uncomfortable. He doesn't want to be here, but his wife “made”
him come. It is cold. He worked hard
today, has to get up at 3 am for work tomorrow. There are a number of possible reasons
for his rudeness. But those same reasons
apply to us all, and we manage to be civil and polite.
Writing about Matt brings another character to mind. It was in my first year of teaching and I
encountered a man I refer to as “The Heckler”. He was ruthless with me.
What is
a heckler exactly? Remember the two old guys, Statler and Waldorf, from The Muppet Show? Professional hecklers quite funny if they aren't making fun of you. Glad they don't need childbirth classes.
Heckle: To try to embarrass and annoy
(someone speaking
or
performing in public) by questions, gibes, or objections; badger.
 |
| My bearded heckler wasn't as lovable as a Muppet |
That sound like fun, no? I spent all my
energy recovering from his jabs and maintaining the flow of the class. The
other couples were offended and embarrassed for me. I’d dare say that they
became angry with him by the end of it all. Any time the Heckler was out of ear
shot they would apologize, “Please just ignore him. You are doing a great
job. We (the Amish) don’t usually treat
people like this.” I got several notes of gratitude and encouragement in the
mail once the class was all wrapped up.
While I can’t recall all of his hurtful words I do
remember the last class we were discussing caring for your newborn and I was
discussing the idea of co-sleeping. “So if I roll over onto and kill my baby, I
can tell myself, but Betsy said it was ok.” Yes folks, he was out of control. Another
man in the class actually reprimanded him for that one. At some point I realized that this man likely
treats his wife the same way. If this Amish man is so bold as to talk to a
person of authority in public with disrespect, how does he treat his wife
behind closed doors? I shudder to
think.
So these men bruise my ego a bit. Maybe they don’t like me. Maybe it’s the setting and content of
class. No matter which, I continue on, honing
my skills at public speaking and interactions with people of all sorts. I believe that childbirth classes are vital
for couples anticipating birth. I believe that whether he admits it later or
not, he did benefit from participating in the class. Everyone benefits. If it’s
just a handful who insist on being rude, there are approximately 295 more polite,
attentive (mostly) and interested participants, then I can live with that.
Next week I'm going to picture one of these two old gents reclined in the chair instead of Matt. That should help it go better.
