Thursday, April 24, 2014

Practicing Relaxation: "It sounds like a barn full of cows in here."

It is dusk outside.  I stand in the middle of a large living room, pacing the linoleum floor.  The lights are turned down.  I hear some soft moaning, deep breathing, “owich” (Amish talk for ouch). My timer on my iPhone is running.  It has been about two minutes since I hit the “lap” button. There is giggling coming from all directions. Yes giggling.  A male voice moans like a cow calving.

You thought I was setting up for a birth scene didn't you?  It is actually the finale of my childbirth series.  The final night of co-ed classes where I work to get everything to come together.  I've been doing this specific “relaxation” exercise for a year now.  It always starts off with laughing and ends with snoring.  It’s the perfect way to wrap up our time together.

The purpose of the exercise is to get the couple actually doing/using the techniques for relaxation we discuss in class.  It’s simple and a bit silly, and it’s the activity they look forward to the most.

Supplies- Clothes pin (the kind with a spring that pinches), Sleeping bag, and pillow.

I give the following instructions: 
To the women: “Find a spot in the house to unroll the sleeping bag and lie down on your left side.  Remove glasses and coverings. When instructed clip the clothes pin on your fingertip or ear lobe.  This is to simulate a labor contraction, while having a “contraction” focus on breathing in slowly. I then demonstrate “In through the nose *exaggerated breathing in* out through the mouth *exaggerated breathing out.”  Try to relax and tune into the support your husband is giving you.”

For the men: “Get down on the floor beside your wife.  You are the labor coach and will be using touch & words of encouragement to help her through her “contractions”.  You are to tune into the tension in your wife’s muscles and use touch to help her relax. Get her feed back on what she likes, what works and what not to do. Remember relaxation will help her “contraction” hurt less.”

Once the instructions are given, places taken, the timer starts.  Contractions last a minute long with only a 2 minute break in between.  Part of the objective is to give them a feel for the rhythm of contractions coming regularly.  I travel from couple to couple observing, guiding, answering questions.

Roars of laughter erupt from the dark of the dining room where the class clown Larry and his wife are located.  He is speaking in Dutch so I don’t know exactly what he is saying, but I get the general idea.  There is groaning, fake moaning, he coaches “push push”.  They are all having a good time, and I like what I see.  The couple is communicating, talking about what it will really be like.  She’s giving a list of aches; his hands are kneading her stocking feet.      

I turn my back and walk to the other side of the house where a couple is crunched into the bathroom to avoid being seen by anyone else.  I hear them whispering through the door.  This is the quiet couple, the ones whose cheeks shone pink anytime I made eye contact with them during class discussions.  He reminds her to breath, together they inhale deeply. 

Halfway into the exercise the giggles have settled down.  Each woman rests eyes closed, smiling.  The husbands are hard at work rubbing the lower back, pausing to lean over to ask if it feels ok.  Once they have worked through the silliness they get to some quality relaxation.  And it’s almost visible the blooming self-confidence these men have in their ability to help their wives relax.  The wives are deeply resting, almost asleep by the end of the time, despite the regular “contractions”.

And then if that wasn't enough fun- we switch.  The men get to rest and get the massage, but also have to take the clip and have the contractions.  There is much posturing and male posing about how the clips do not even hurt.  The men start in again with the moaning and groaning.  “It sounds like a barn full of cows in here.” Larry says laughing.  The whole first floor of the house is full of racket.

But.

Once the timer starts and the wives start the massage, they settle in.  They can’t deny the effect that relaxation has on their being.  It becomes quiet.  One wife 33 weeks pregnant strains to reach over her belly to her waiting husband.  She decides she can’t quite reach both his shoulders so she will take them one at a time.  I remind the women, now the labor support, to seek the tense muscles.  I hear words of encouragement, “Good job now breathe.” She says in dutch to her husband who is sprawled out on the floor like a toddler at nap time.


Eventually we have to turn the lights back on, get up off the floor, and go back home.  

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