Not Your Average "Joe Kegel"

I feel the need for a light-hearted anecdote this morning.  I have a running list of top 5 memorable moments from my teaching.   Most of them are humorous, and I can’t wait to share one of them with you. So let’s jump in.  

I was teaching my first large group of Amish couples (9 pairs, 18 people) and it was our first night of class.  My stomach was in knots that afternoon in anticipation of the large crowd.  The content I cover the first night is quite basic.

• ·          Anatomy of pregnancy
• ·          Nutrition
• ·         Birth Planning
• ·         Prenatal exercise

Within the first hour of meeting a room full of Amish young adults I am knee high in nervous tension while discussing body parts. Standing in front of them armed with large anatomic drawings, we go over how a woman’s body gets pregnant and changes during that pregnancy.  Oh the horror of saying the words breast, cervix, vagina (I still often chicken out and say birth canal) in front of this group of socially modest and often innocent 20 somethings.

After we have dredged through that first nervous hour of anatomy we break for snacks.  *Communal sigh of relief* it isn't so bad really.  By then I've assessed who is listening, who doesn't want to be there, who is enjoying (yes enjoying) the presentation.  Eye contact, shy smiles and head nods- I thrive on the subtlest sign of affirmation.  Feet shuffling, staring into the bottom of an empty coffee cup, blank stares or arms crossed- all signs I've got my work cut out for me.  Most groups are a mix of affirmation and anxiety.

This night, there is one lively man in the bunch.  Quick witted and bold in his comebacks Joe’s manner puts us all at ease.  He’s chuckling, smiling and nodding along.  His wife has rolled her eyes at him at least 4 times within our first hour of class.  I love this man!  He has no idea how much his humor sets me at ease and it is obvious that the other couples relax with each of his wisecracks. 

In the second hour of class I focus on caring for self during the pregnancy.  We discuss nutrition and prenatal exercises.  And the moment has arrived, the dreaded moment when I have to describe a Kegel.  By now I’ve covered the anatomy of the pelvic floor.  I pick up my pelvis model and cup my hand under it to remind them again what muscles I am talking about.  The written material in the book has a few sketches of tight versus loose pelvic floor muscles.  I point out the differences and make a few comments about peeing when you cough or sneeze.  They likely sense my discomfort, but I push forward.  Once I've been through the whole bit I’m ready to move forward. 

In case your not familiar with a Kegel.

Joe raises his hand. Of course, Joe has a question. No one ever has questions ever, especially not about this.  “Yes Joe?” I say hesitantly. “It says here in the book that men can do this exercise too.” He is beaming at me, goading me to respond.  I wait, I’m gonna make him say it.  “So how does that work?” he says.

Is this really happening? My mind races, never have I encountered an Amish man so bold.  He is asking how he does a Kegel exercise with his penis!  Deep breath and I throw a joke back asking him to work on that for homework and come back and give us a report.  He laughs pleased with my response.  At that moment I realize I have passed some kind of test of his. 

Quickly I move on to the next topic. I’m in the home stretch now almost 8:30 and time to wrap up.  I close up and instruct everyone to return the following week, bring their books etc.  Joe raises his hand but doesn't wait for me to respond.

“I’m doing them right now-the Kegels, I figured it out.  You want me to share?” Roars of laughter erupt around the circle.  Poor Lisa’s face is bright red. Her elbow jabs his ribs hard, scolding his boldness.  “Sorry Joe we are out of time, you’ll have to share later.” I manage.

Over the years since this class I have come to know that Joe has a bit of a reputation for his bold sense of humor.  It’s his heritage actually.  He is part of a Yoder clan that is notorious for their pranks, jokes and antics.  His little girl cousin visits my house and has a catalog of her favorite Joe moments.  Too bad she is seven and I can’t fully share my favorite moment with “Joe Kegel”.